It’s been a quiet Sunday here in Nairobi. I went to church this morning with Amanda, my Canadian friend, and her Kenyan husband Tobi. I had never been to their church before. They are finally leaving for Canada late Friday night so I figured I had better go with them this week. I will miss them, but I am glad they finally get to go home. It’s been a nearly three year long battle trying to get Tobi’s visa. Now they can finally go.
Church this morning was refreshingly truthful. The lady speaker shared on how just because you are God’s child and in His will, it doesn’t mean life will be easy or there will be no hardships. I’ve been to too many churches that preached “health, wealth, and prosperity” and if you are a child of God, no harm should ever befall you. It was nice to have a much more honest, biblical view of life taught. Yes, God promises to never leave us and in the end, He wins, but in the meantime, the world still belongs to Satan and there still will be hard times. The story of Job was our example.
When we were leaving church, Amanda turned to me, “this goes along with your life lessons this week, doesn’t it?”
I laughed. She was absolutely right. My theme of life this entire week from various churches, books, and conversations with people has all revolved around the same topic: life is hard, we have to persevere and keep going no matter how hard it gets. The fact that this lesson keeps reverberating from all directions made me worried…what’s gonna happen next? What is God preparing me for now? I began bracing myself for some catastrophe or another.
I don’t know if it’s really a catastrophe that God is preparing me for though…if it is, I guess I’ll find out, but what I have seen is God really preparing me for the future, especially in regards to marriage.
My lesson began last weekend. My fiancé came for a visit and we decided to visit the massive Anglican cathedral on the edge of Nairobi. Two weekends before, we had taken engagement pictures around there and were amazed at the size and splendor of the castle-like structure. It was like stepping back in time to a different country and era. The organ, church bells, stained glass windows, and plaques donated for various colonial officers and men who died in the early 1900’s from lion attacks, WWI, etc. all showed the ancientness and history of the place.
We came back a week ago to attend a service. I have grown up in evangelical, very modern churches most of my life and have spent very little time with more traditional services. The rising, sitting, and liturgy was interesting and half the service I sat just taking it all in, not quite sure what to do. But when the pipe organ and full-robed choir filled the vaulted ceilings with a glorious music of old hymns, I stood mouth agape just soaking in the beauty of it all. Ancient hymn books from the 1800’s provided us the words to sing along and then I was at a loss of what to do-either take in the music or take in the profound words of the hymns. One in particular jumped out. By the end of the service, I knew God had spoken to me…but not through the sermon. It was through one of the hymns. As we sang it, it just hit me-that hymn was for me.
Father, hear the prayer we offer:
Not for ease that prayer shall be,
But for strength that we may ever
Live our lives courageously.
Not for ever in green pastures
Do we ask our way to be,
But the steep and rugged pathway
May we tread rejoicingly.
Not for ever by still waters
Would we idly rest and stay;
But would smite the living fountains
From rocks along our way.
Be our strength in hours of weakness,
In our wandering be our guide;
Through endeavor, failure, danger,
Father, be thou at our side.
It was God telling me that life will not be easy. It will be a struggle. Yet this needs to be my prayer and I need to face it with all the courage and joy He gives. That’s a hard prayer to pray.
I have been through seasons of life in the past where God’s message to me was that “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul.” I knew He was leading me through a lush season of growth, quietness and being poured into. It was a safe haven for growth. Yet that is not what He is saying now. His continual promise to me is that He will never leave me nor forsake me and He will be with me no matter what…but this is not a season of green pastures and still waters. Seasons come and go. In future those might come again, but in the meantime, I need to brace myself and prepare myself for whatever comes, no matter how hard or how easy.
The pastor at church quoted someone or another saying “true faith will never be shaken by hard times because it has come as a result of being shaken by hard times”.
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