Introduction Ceremony

I couldn’t sleep. It was well past midnight, but sleep couldn’t come. My mind was too full of thoughts. It was three days until the introduction ceremony. We were still about $1000 short of the money needed to have the ceremony, the Kenya team was coming soon and the house they were supposed to stay at bailed on us the last minute and we had no money pay for one, visitors were starting to arrive the next day and I had just managed to drop my phone into a thirty feet deep pit latrine (it was dark and I’m scared of cockroaches and my phone had a flashlight in it). All these issues ran through my mind, grabbing sleep and keeping it far away from me.
Ivan’s family began planning for the introduction almost a year ago. They have been having family meetings every month to discuss the affairs of the family. This event has been increasingly grabbing up importance as the event grew nearer and nearer. This particular week the family called for four meetings…on Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in order to pull together all that was necessary for the ceremony.

For busy people with their own jobs, families and lives, I was surprised to see family members arrive again and again at each meeting. Each meeting saw around 30 family members meander in and out….cousins, aunts, uncles, great uncles, great aunts, moms, dads, sisters, cousins-in-law, and every other kind of family members that can be conceived of showed up. Some came with lots of ideas and input about where to buy flowers, how to pick up the cake, what to cut out of the budget, and how the bull should be transported to the venue. Others came and sat quietly, adding very little verbal input but giving the encouragement of their presence as support. All came and donated whatever they could afford into the budget…whether just a few dollars or hundreds of dollars, everyone sacrificed of what they had to make sure Ivan was able to officially get his wife.

We had already been covered in blessings by the support and donations we had been able to receive. A friend of Ivan’s donated his house for us to use as a venue. Empower A Child gave two tents and two vans to use for transport on the day. Chairs came from a friend. Yet so many more things were needed.

God provided….as always…He provided just enough. When my sleepless night had passed, I was able to get a new phone to contact our visitors coming in and give them directions. Ivan sorted out a place for the Kenyan team to stay, my parents provided the money to feed them while Ivan’s mom organized people to cook for them. The money came in from all corners, bit by bit, it all trickled in until all expenses were covered.




The introduction came together perfectly. With the hard work of so many family members and friends, it finally came together and was beyond beautiful. I had expected a fun day, but also expected something to go wrong. The day ended up being one of the funnest days I’ve ever had and very little went wrong, at least nothing that would really dampen the day.



It’s hard to put into words…what meant the most to me was the support and love of our friends and family. All the people who sacrificed of themselves in order to show us love and care meant more to me than I can say. My mom and her husband came all the way from the states to accept my dowry and grant permission for me to marry Ivan. The Kenyan team came all the way from Nairobi to stand with me and be a support to us. Their sacrifice, love, and friendship meant the world to us. Elders traveled the long, bumpy 12 hour busride from the village to be at the ceremony.

My dowry was agreed on as a little bull with a heart on his forehead, a goat, two red chickens, and a whole suitcase full of hand carved crafts that were specially made in the village for my parents. Ivan had told his family that my parents were not expecting a dowry, that’s not in our culture, they still insisted because that is how you show respect for the parents who are letting go of their daughter and giving them to their son. So, the dowry was given and humbly accepted by my mother and her tears at receiving them said it all.

What did my mom do with the dowry? Well, obviously a bull can’t be taken on an airplane, even if he has a heart on his forehead and so we ate him the next day. The day after the ceremony saw a grand bull roasting party where about a hundred friends and family members casually came and ate sticks of roasted bull and roasted chicken that had been grilled over charcoal stoves outside. Mom carried home most of the crafts, however the bow from the bow and arrows didn’t fit in her suitcase and she had to leave it at the airport.

I can’t begin to describe all that happened at the ceremony. Pictures will have to tell the story. The most important events were the dowry being given, the bride and groom being found, Ivan publicly proposing to me in front of the family, speeches and blessings by both sides of the family, and then the succeeding celebration and dance party. The entire party danced long after they were tired and only stopped when the music stopped.

Ivan’s family loves dancing and can dance the night away, but they were more than surprised at being shown up by Athena and Cathy, our two MSTs that came with the Kenyan team. They danced with such enthusiasm and for so long that Ivan’s family was properly humbled and awed by these two mzungus who really could dance.

It was a joyous day and a day I will always remember as just a beautiful day. There are no other words to describe it. It was a day of hot pink and gold, of huge smiles and black suits. It was a day of overwhelming love and a warm blanket of joy…the kind of joy that I will hold onto and treasure and keep somewhere in a pretty box tied with ribbons deep inside my heart and take out from time to time to admire and praise God for coming through for me and for His goodness to me. That is all I can say to describe it.

When it was all over, when the tents were down, the pretty dresses put away, the balloons all popped, the cow and the cakes all eaten, then we all had to go home again. It’s back to work again and the craziness of a full house both in Uganda and in Kenya. It’s back to planning for the wedding and planning for moving to the states for the next few years. There is a lot to think about and do, but it will all come together in the end because I am still blessed with amazing family, friends, and a God who blesses us beyond what I can ever imagine.